I've had an incredible realisation recently about how intertwined money and weight are for women. My money mentor Kendall Summerhawk said recently, How you do money is how you do everything and I thought, ok - if that's true, how does my money situation relate to how I am about food?
So many parallels, it's hard to keep up:
I always over-ate at buffets, anxious to get my "money's worth", went through feast and famine cycles where I either ate pure green raw food or complete and utter rubbish. I stuffed in food for a variety of reasons - because I was bored, tired, sad, mad or otherwise "off".
I always had to eat everything on my plate and ate and ate... and ate without feeling satisfied. I felt so jealous of friends who could eat whatever they wanted, didn't overeat and had great bodies. I wish I could undo all the crappy food I'd eaten in the past and have it's effect on my body instantly wiped out. I felt like a healthy relationship to food or my weight eluded me.
and in money....
I got into debt because I spent money I didn't have, feeling anxious about getting my "money's worth" when buying things, had present anxiety (buying for other people), had feast or famine cycles where I earned money and then spent it just as quickly. I bought random things because I was bored, tired, sad, mad or otherwise "off".
I was never comfortable with having money in my bank account, because I felt like I had to make up for lost time (when I didn't have any), but spending it wasn't satisfying either. I felt jealous of friends who earned great money in their jobs and could spend it with ease on nice things. I wish I could undo all the times I spent money but didn't enjoy it and have my debts instantly wiped out. I felt like being rich (or even just earning a "decent wage") eluded me.
Deep down, I thought I could only be rich when I was skinny.
Otherwise I didn't deserve it.
My food issues were clear to see on my butt, but my money issues were somewhat hidden. Just having these realisations shone a light and I gave myself permission to overcome both at the same time.
After all, if one shifted, the other might too, right?
I decided to forgive myself for my actions around both food and money. I cleared my past. I decided that I am enough. I realised that there is always more when I need it. I did a shit-load of transformational work around myself....
And the results have been incredible.
Subtle at first. Like I found myself going "hmm, I'm full now" and pushing my plate away (this has NEVER happened to me in my life) or instead of halving everything with my husband, I've been letting him finish mine. I'm not worried about eating everything or if I'll ever get fed again.
No second trips to the buffet (or if I did, without guilt). Dessert only if I felt like it, and not because it was there. I've been exercising more and working with a fitness trainer Liz Dialto.
And the money?
April was my most abundant month ever. Not just in my business but in my entire career. I earn twice as much in my business as I ever did in corporate life. I finally broke through my self-imposed salary limit.
For the first time ever, I'm feeling comfortable having excess money in the bank without feeling the need to spend it all quickly (and feel guilty about it afterwards). I feel relaxed that I can make more and I feel worthy of charging good money for what I do (and actually, I'm about to raise my prices again).
I have a long way to go until I'm a millionaire, but my god - who knew acknowledging the link between my weight and my income would have such an impact in my life?
And guess what - my weight is starting to go down naturally without me stressing about it. Now the "excess" is in my bank account, instead of staying on my butt. I've gone out of "survival" mode in every way and I'm starting to thrive in my life personally and financially.
Does any of this resonate with you?
Start with either your money or your weight/food story and ask yourself about the parallels. How do you act at an all-you-can-eat buffet? What words would you use to describe your relationship with either food or money:
Indifferent, greedy, guilty, stuffed, anxious, scary, out of control, wasteful, scarce, unsatisfying, harmful, unhealthy, dysfunctional, in-denial, broken?
Do you eat/shop in secret? Do you hoard weight/money?
Imagine what could be possible if you decided to heal both of them at the same time? Awareness is just the first step and I'm not sure sure which comes first!
(If food isn't your thing - then how does your money relate to sex - that's usually another interesting discussion, right?)
Would love to hear your realisations about food + money, I'm fascinated about this stuff and curious if you've got a similar story to mine. Hit me up on the Facebook page.
And if you want some help in getting over your money barriers, there is still time to join my Lucky Bitch Money Bootcamp, as our live calls start this week. Join 30+ other women from all around the world having honest and transformational discussions around money.
Love and luck,