Author and personal development speaker Jim Rohn famously said, “You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with".
Just think about those people now. Who are they and what characteristics do these people have in common?
Motivated about achieving something in their life or barely moving away from the TV?
Positive people who are a delight or whiners who blame everyone else for their problems?
People who make you feel wonderful or leave you feeling drained and exhausted?
You get the idea.
I've done this exercise many times over the past couple of years because there's been periods in my life when I attracted some really... average people. Like when I joined a network marketing organisation and the majority people I could attract into my group were unemployed, drug addicted (I'm not even kidding) and downright weird people who tried to hit me up for money. Needless to say, that was a time in my life where I didn't exactly have a lot of confidence in my abilities.
Funnily enough though, when I wanted to become a writer and entrepreneur, I started meeting all of these people who worked in creative industries - writers, actors, bloggers, yoga teachers and speakers. Meeting these lovely people who were making a living out of their passions made me believe it was possible for me too.
People in our lives are often a mirror for what we feel in ourselves.
Think of a friend, colleague or family member who really annoys you. There's something about them that really gets on your nerves. If you could describe what you don't like about them in three words - what would they be?
Once you have those three words, I want you to be really honest with yourself. Do you have these qualities too? Often what we dislike in others is what we dislike about ourselves.
Why do we attract people who are like ourselves? Like a tuning fork, we recognise our "tribe" of people and energetically it feels right. Have you ever met someone for the first time but feel like you've known them for ages?
But what if you're attracting the wrong type of people and you're fed up with it!? It's true, we can attract negative people in our lives because it reinforces fears or anxieties we have about ourselves, it keeps us stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy and it gives us someone to blame!
So, if you're having a lot of negativity in your life at the moment, ask yourself:
What type of bosses are you attracting?
Think about the common thread with your bosses throughout your working life. Have they been understanding and fun to work for - inspiring you to do greater work? Or have they been intimidating, bossy, scary and bullying?
Why not decide to attract a boss who is a joy to work for?
After a string of macho and mean bosses, I made an intention for my next job to have a wonderful boss. My next two were unbelievably lovely, supportive and kind people. Now I work for myself so most days my boss is great!
What kind of clients are you attracting?
Clients who pay their bills on time and are a joy to work with or ones that a total pain in the butt? The ones who don't respect your time or turn up on time?
Why are you attracting them? You may not believe in your skills 100% or believe that you deserve to earn money from your profession. Your clients are just reflecting your state of mind back at you.
Choose to only work with wonderful, vibrant and positive people and you will.
What kind of relationships are you attracting?
Be honest now! Is there a pattern to your bad relationships? Usually there is a physical resemblance as well as common personality traits.
First of all, who do they remind you of? Usually this is a clue about an unresolved issue you may have with the real person - not just the partner who is the mirror.
Decide to attract a wonderful, gorgeous, supportive partner. The best way to do that is to feel gorgeous yourself. Be supportive of the people in your life and expect that to come back to you in return.
Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?
My mum likes to categorise people into Tiggers and Eeyores. Tiggers are happy and positive go-getters, and Eeyores like to moan and groan about everything because they have no self confidence. What's the percentage of Tiggers to Eeyores in your life?
Tiggers seem to have good things happen to them all the time, like a great new job, a lucky windfall or other good fortune and they love to tell you about it.
Eyores seem to have bad things happen to them regularly - their car breaks down, their recent date was terrible and they are unhappy about their weight - and they LOVE to moan about it.
These people are all just a mirror to our beliefs about the world. Unfortunately, until we recognise the pattern, we are doomed to repeat the same thing over and over.
So the question is - can you attract better or more positive people into your life?
Absolutely!
This question is on my mind because I just moved to a new town where I hardly know anyone and I decided to start off on the right foot. I Googled interest groups in my area, have been going to networking events, seminars and community events.
The funny thing is - everytime I leave my house now, I meet awesome people! Is that a reflection about how I feel about myself now? You bet it is!
The beauty of meeting new people and making new friends is that they'll see you for the person you are today, not their memory of the person you used to be.
Are you open and ready to receive some new friends, partners and other wonderful people into your life? Be open, set the intention of what you want in your life and see them all pop up!
Have fun with it!
